Yellow

A colour that doesn’t lend itself

To wearing salmon

Or peach

Or grey

A colour somewhere

Between black and white

Just like brown

(but also not)

A fever

You give someone else

Not by doing

But just by being

Just being

Someone will shout

A greeting

In a language they don’t speak

But think I do

(Is it friendliness?

Or an attack?)

The pointed brazenness

With which it’s delivered

Suggests the second

Or worse

When they mix it

With innuendo

For a potent dose

Of dehumanization

(which do I deflect first?

As if I have a hope

Of evading either)

How they hold their eye contact

And I’m the one

Who has to work to avoid

Their unwanted proposition

The shame somehow mine

And wholly mine

The colour of silence

And timidity

Acquiescence

A fawn response

Or maybe a freeze?

(to keep me safe

Will it keep me safe?)

Well no more

I will rage

And scream

And allow my pain

To come howling out

And curdle your blood

And embrace yellow

The colour of madness

And maybe one day

A colour of

Truly belonging.