Make an image of the life you crave.
The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down.
You won’t drown in the money, if you go after it.
Travel on a plane; settle down.
Take for yourself the cedars and the oak.
Make perfume; soak an hour.
Find the pearls; adorn the neck.
Live among the trees in the forest.
Glean the profit of the day so you could stay warm, nourished in the rain.
There is hope in your baked bread, and in your bread, there is hope.
Even though the winter is here and spring isn’t coming,
You will still have a loyal companion to hold,
When the others are starving, living their penurious part.
A/N: Did that second line pull you out of your reverie before it even began? I chose to include it because the indifference of the cycle scares me. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments: did the unnecessary line make the poem feel more real or more broken to you? Thank you so much for reading. 🤗🌼🙏🏾
About the Creator
Caitlin Charlton
poetry too close to home
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Compelling and original writing
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More stories from Caitlin Charlton and writers in Poets and other communities.
Lately, I'm empty
Lately, I feel an emptiness inside of me that doesn’t make any sense. I was fine a week ago and now I’m numb to the pain that I’ve been carrying around. Numb to the idea of me existing. I wish I could go to a place where I can hear happy positive thoughts and surround myself with joy. The medication I’m on doesn’t seem to work anymore. I still feel pain from existing, why am I here anyways? Merely to exist. I don’t feel like I’m making any differences being here.
By Cerina Galvan2 days ago in Confessions
Comments (7)
I feel that the second line keeps you waiting for it to work with the rest of the piece. I don’t think it takes you out of it but at the same time it doesn’t help you immerse in it.
Cc - You Do ~ DoEth terrifically..! Jj
Loved the poem and to me the second line still fits for it makes one think. Good job.
I adore this poem, and I love the "unnecessary line," I don't feel like it's out of place, more just an additive that adds depth.
The intertwining of themes and juxtaposition of opposites are what keep bringing me back to read it again and again. It makes me wonder at the deeper meaning, especially in the final line. Is this literal poverty, poverty of spirit or both? The line that did not belong felt like a snippet from Ecclesiastes, KJV. This created a pause in the metrical rhythm of the poem, and suggested to me a grander wisdom literature theme for the whole of it. I loved how it made me feel without necessarily understanding why. Great entry to the challenge and good luck!
"Take for yourself the cedars and the oak. Make perfume; soak an hour." These two lines are hands-down my favorite (who could have guessed?) Love, love, love the whole poem, but those two lines speak my soul.
Love it