Subconsciously Alert!

My mind is continuously cluttered - I can not shut off my thought. 

Obsessively analyzing every possible outcome - of every scenario - to avoid emotional distraught.

Instinctive truth checker and an energy beacon,

My spirit is wired though I know my soul will slowly weaken.

I toss and turn each night, unsettled, not sure if I am dreaming,

Flashes, comments, sounds, whispers - multiple devices, all at once streaming.

Over the years, I have learned to understand absorption, control my conscious,

Now I am never uncovering stillness, suddenly alert in my subconscious.

Writing and rewriting letters in my mind, as I am uncomfortable with multiple choices,

Then, debating devil's advocate through different internal voices.

Strongly owning my morality, while softly weighing on each battle,

Then, chain-smoking through mental fog - so much that when I breathe, my lungs rattle.

Current events play out in my past environments,

So many moving memories, so many strings attached requirements.

Which choice to make, what path to take,

Nowhere to run, nowhere to escape.

My subconscious is alive, vividly alert,

Ambiguous messages, indication's disguised - covert.

When will relief arrive, I need a simple sigh,

To connect my subconscious dots with me, standby!