Little RoseBud 🌹

To a happy and sweet sixteen,
and an undoubtedly beautiful, young woman.
I just wished your sister a happy birthday,
this one is a little bit harder.

Because I hurt you the most.
You were older,
you witnessed more,
you took most the burden.

That's what kills me,
I know exactly how that feels.
We always say we will never be our parents,
some are successful, but some not even close.

In a different way
I found the same ways to hurt you.
Undoubtedly unintentional,
but my blame nonetheless.

My little firecracker,
my little doppelganger.
In some of the last pics I have with you,
Your face resembles a perfect porcelain doll.

Taken years ago though,
and I know your beauty has only grown.
Your troubles probably have too,
and again, that is on me.

You know the moments I will miss most?
The rare times you and your sister,
both fell asleep with your heads on my chest…
Heartbreakingly, the smell of your hair is slipping from my memory.

I know you don't believe this,
but you really were and will always be…
My world and shining stars.
I hope someday you see that.

I just didn't realize that now like you,
I still had traumas and troubles,
placed onto me by my parents
that I was to young and naive to handle alone.

The last time I saw you,
you were above my chin.
Still young at heart,
But with some innocence lost.

I wanted to save you,
I wanted to help,
but it wasn't my time to anymore.
These days I can only hope someday will be.

I want to help guide you through
those demons I regrettably inflicted on you,
I want to be the wise words in your ear
that help lead you back to the light.

Because as much wrong as I know I did,
It's all that much more knowledge I know I can now give.

Don't give up on me yet baby girl.
I'm here if ever you need me.
Never will I judge,
I mean who would I be to try, right?

No sweet little Rosebud,
from now on,
I'll be waiting,
here and ready to guide.

If you never speak to me again,
well I'm working on making peace with that.
But my goal is you find peace in yourself,
and to know your worth is to infinity and beyond.