Lake Ontario

Lake Ontario

Looks like a sea

The waves crush into stones

The sand is frozen

***

It is December

I have started writing nonstop

Although I am not present

On social media

***

Once upon a time, on Facebook

I was abandoned by my best friend

I loved her for years

She took it kind of harshly

***

"This is not a conversation we can have" - she said

Breaking my heart

A drop of blood from my nose

Fell on top of the white keyboard

***

That year I attempted suicide

They took me to the hospital

Manic Depression

I barely came out alive

***

I had only seen madhouses

In movies

Now they were becoming a reality

I was unable to stop it

***

On social media

I wrote things that offended society

Since that day

Create and destroy was my life

***

Lake Ontario

With his waves

Washes away my shame

I am a sensitive person

***

My writings

I treated them like scribblings

I erased them, I ripped them

I burned them

***

Tens of poems

Lost in the abyss

Maybe hundreds

And letters without end

***

Free verse

Without rhyme

Without big words

Maybe they don't count as poetry

***

However, the traces of shame

Have left marks

Like the traces of my feet

On the lake sand

***

Lake Ontario

Please cover me up

I want to drown

I am unlucky

***

Maybe without ability

My poems

Don't get

A single like

***

Macabre themes

Heavy blows

Complete darkness

Vampire style

***

Bloodsucker of time

Waster of moments

Waster of ink and paper

A catastrophe

***

The notebook that gets filled up

With my crooked writing

Gives me a feeling

As if I am alive

***

Lake Ontario

Like therapy

Lessens the blows

That I suffered from life

***

Dear Lake

Where do you end?

You became my home

After I left my fatherland

***

Ancient Albania

So far away

As if she doesn't exist any more

Since that girl left me

***

Fascinating Tirana

Closed her doors

Since that girl

No longer speaks to me

***

I lost my love

I also lost myself

Strange as I was

I do not appear anywhere anymore