Fully Inhabited
Written for Tanya Lei’s “Who Do You Actually Want to Be?” Challenge
I want to be someone who does not abandon himself when things get uncomfortable.
Not for approval.
Not for ease.
Not for the illusion of peace.
I want to be the version of me who stays present when my chest tightens, who doesn’t rush to explain, soften, or translate myself into something more palatable. I want to be honest even when honesty makes the room colder.
I want to be someone who trusts his inner weather. The sudden calm. The unexpected storm. The long stretches of silence where nothing needs to be fixed. I want to stop interrogating my instincts as if they are suspects instead of signals.
I want to be precise with my energy. Careful where I place it. Unapologetic when I retrieve it. I want my boundaries to feel less like walls and more like skin. Sensitive. Alive. Responsive.
I want to be someone who can sit alone without narrating himself, without reaching for noise, without needing proof that he exists. Someone who doesn’t perform depth, but lives it quietly.
I want to be rooted. Not rigid. Curious without being scattered. Soft without being erased.
Most of all, I want to be at home inside myself.
No audience.
No permission.
No becoming.
Just me, fully inhabited.
*******
About the Creator
Aarsh Malik
Poet, Storyteller, and Healer.
Sharing self-help insights, fiction, and verse on Vocal.
Anaesthetist.
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Comments (6)
Stunning! Love your sentiments. 💜
“Me too” to allllll of this! I especially love how you wrote the part about boundaries.
This sounds like a great person to be! I especially love the idea of being at home inside yourself 😀
♥️The way you used antithesis between what you want and what you refuse to accept really resonated with me. It displays such immense strength because you clearly recognize what a healthy life looks like compared to the pain of devaluing yourself. ♥️I especially connected with your use of Anaphora. Repeating 'I want to be' felt like a glimmer of hope held in steady rhythm. That determination makes me feel certain that you will achieve these things. Your vision for yourself is truly Incipient.
WELL DONE
I want to be someone like this, too. I often find myself disconnecting in moments when I'm bored, annoyed or uncomfortable. But those are part of a fully lived life as well. And as a writer, I should live fully, shouldn't I? Great piece, Aarsh!