Five—One Grounding
Instructions for a Feeling entry
Five—Locked in a perpetual battle against my failing senses and reason, I fight to survive, to get through; I am afraid of... nothingandeverythingallatonce—...—my mouth is dry, and my muscles seize up... what can I see? I can see the birdcage and birds; I can see the watercolour my beautiful wife painted many years ago and unlocked her journey into art; I can see the empty mug of tea as it sits perilously on the arm of the sofa; how many is that now? Three down, two to go; I can also see a jackdaw on the roof of our neighbour's house across the road and a bookcase of potential—Five things you can see.
Four—As the battle rages against my temporary loss of all sense of reason—...—rational, vision still dances in and out of focus, and my heart might rupture as the fear continues to grip me, I now think about things I can touch. I can touch my trusty notepad filled with stories untold and poems unrealised; I can touch the comforting and warming sweater that soothes me; I can touch Alexa and ask her for random facts about nitro-glycerine and touch my toes— Four things you can touch.
Three—I am winning the battle; I can feel the subsidence of my palpal—...—pal—palpitations and breathing as I think about what I can hear. A car just pulled out of our street with a bit of a screech and a beep at what I suspect is another car failing to give way; I can hear my poodle Mick barking his head off because he probably heard a twig fall in the garden outside and I can hear the washing machine play out its tune to signify the cycle has finished—Three things you can hear.
Two—I feel the weight—...—the burden, the impending doom lessen in its grasp, its hold of me, as I remember the next step. What can I smell? Well, as I've missed a few showers recently, unfortunately, I can smell the deep and claggy scent of a body unwashed, and at the mere thought of it, I feel it enter my nostrils and fill my lungs. I can also smell the faint scent of bleach on the gentle breeze that blows through the house of a cleaner bathroom—Two things you can smell.
One—As my body and mind calm and I feel the mounting pressure—...—untampered insanity diminishes and releases me from its grasp, I can taste only the remnants of a custard-filled, sugar-dusted donut and sadness. The world does not feel as implosive as it did a few moments ago; my life does not feel like it's on a razor's edge as I sit and breathe deeply and close my eyes for some semblance of peace—One thing you can taste.
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Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: I have only had one panic attack that was a panic attack in my life, though I live on almost a knife's edge of anxiety brimming beneath the surface. I have never used the grounding technique, but I know how helpful it is. So, I thought this was a good and useful approach to the challenge.
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (36)
Oh goodness, this hit home for me. I've had a handful of panic attacks in my life, and they are terrifying and draining. Your last stanza I think perfectly captured the unsettling calm after the storm. Especially when you mentioned being able to taste the remnants of the custard. I remember being able to taste my saliva and the curry I had for dinner the last time I had a panic attack. This was a great read!
I’ve been lucky enough to have never had a panic or anxiety attack, but I’ll try to remember this guide. It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Love your approach and take on the challenge. Congartz on Top Story, too!
Great Job😃💙💙💙Congratulations on Your Top Story 🎊
I legit felt this anxiety attack as I read it
Raw and naked prose, truly viscerally stunning
Look at you, elegant prose and actionable instruction. Truly a steward, Stewart
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Paul, as someone who has suffered from anxiety for years, I applaud you. Although my last full-on attack was years ago, I can still remember it like it was yesterday. Grounding does indeed work, and it's a method my youngest daughter uses. Thank you for sharing this, and congratulations on your leadership board placement this week. I'll be looking for your name on the winner's list!👏👏👏
This is brilliant, raw and beautiful, Paul! Using the grounding technique gave it surprising emotional power and didn’t feel at all artificial (the main reason I have no clue on how to create an entry for this challenge.) Good luck!
I had not heard about this technique but you really took the reader through the process nice work.
Oh, the 5 senses… the donut,yum; and I agree with Angie, the detail of barking due to a twig dropping 🤣. Now, about that shower, Paul …. 🤔 Great job. 🤗
Panic attacks aren't fun. At their worst, they can feel like a heart attack.
I like this. I get tired of hearing people say “I have anxiety” as if they’re talking about an exotic bird that’s difficult to acquire (the ones who inspire me to say “Your anxiety is going to give me a stroke“). This is real, psychologically and viscerally. Well done.
Brilliant entry to the challenge!🤩 It sounds like a useful technique. I especially liked: “ I can hear my poodle Mick barking his head off because he probably heard a twig fall in the garden outside”. My silly old puppy joined 3 others in a bark-fest, up the back corner of our yard at 4:50am today!😵💫
Beautifully written and helps us find our inner selves. BRAVO
This technique is so helpful and you captured it perfectly.
A wonderful way to find your way back to yourself -one of my favourite tools! Beautifully done, lovely Paul.
⚡♥️⚡
Back to say congratulations on a much deserved honorable mention on this week's leaderboard for Most Discussed Stories!
I read part of this, then I had to head out, while I was out; this piece popped into my mind. This was so freaking beautiful Paul, did you know that? I am a little vulnerable at the moment (I don’t know why, maybe I do but don’t want to confront) but this almost had the tears coming up. I don’t know what to do with myself now that I’ve read all of it, because it felt like a hug, even though it was about how vulnerable you were too and how hard things have been for you, this piece was there for me too so thank you for being so brave to post this. Please don’t be embarrassed about anything you’ve written here (if you were), all of it was perfect.
Yay Paul!!!!!! Love that you got honourable mention for this piece!!! Still one of my favourites for this challenge!!
Wow. Your poem literally embodied all the anxiousness, fear, and other sensations evoked by a panic attack. I nearly felt as if I needed a Xanax after reading it, so I think it relayed the exact sensational effect you wanted it to have.
Aha I see the link now- that's quite a clever countdown in the poem Paul, and I have heard of the grounding technique, though been fortunate enough not to need it as of yet. "claggy scent of a body unwashed"- love the word claggy. I like how in the moment this feels- almost stream of consciousness/unfiltered, ironically.
Sorry to hear you have anxiety as well. It’s an evil insidious monster inside. I still get the panic attacks of varying degrees. Sometimes I will go stretches without but it depends. Some meds help, some make it worse as they are addictive. I use to do something similar like ⬆️ above at times, so I liked that you referenced this below. I enjoyed your little mindful musings Paul - this was a great idea for the challenge!
Gosh Paul... I have so many thoughts on this!! First I love it because I've also heard of this technique but never used it (mostly just don't remember to use it when I should). But also I loved the feel of going through the exercise itself with you. I felt like I could close my eyes and be there with you as we brought ourselves out of a spiral (which ironically I was needing at this moment). This was just... everything I needed right now! Thank you for this Paul!! Also, another great anxiety technique is to put your bare feet on cold cement/ stone.... pulls you right out of the spiral. I've only done it once though.