"Empty"

"Empty"

An emptiness so real I can taste it

Pins and needles creeping

All over me and inside

No feelings, just numb

The sour taste of a bottle of rum

Body feels slow, mind feels light

Everything and nothing

I’m not alright

Back and forth I’m spinning

Further into the divine darkness,

A place I call home

When reality hits,

My feet hit the floor

Stumbling, I try to come back

To my senses

I am alone, utterly defenseless

I fall hard against the side of the tub

Then everything is flashes of black

Fading into this one singular light

My body feels like it’s about to explode

A burning taste in my throat rises up

And out it comes, into the open,

The monster within,

Ugliness, shame,

The vomit of life

Lying on the bathroom floor

I wish, I hope, I pray

For my sanity

I can no longer stand the pain

A broken woman is all that remains

It’s the bitter sting of truth

Reflecting on my youth

That one bottled emptied inside me

An emptiness that I can taste.