Diary Entry: January 5th, 2025

New year, new me, right? Here we are, five days in, and I’m already starting to feel the pressure. Everyone’s talking about their resolutions—gym, career, self-improvement—and I can’t help but wonder, Have I started the gym yet? Of course, I haven’t. It’s this constant pressure we put on ourselves to transform overnight, as if January 1st holds some kind of magical power. But why do we do that? Why do we think we’re going to go from 0 to 100 just because the calendar flipped?

I’ve spent the last seven weeks sick, and honestly, it's been a rough time. Seven weeks of barely leaving my bed, feeling like I’m trapped in this sick, foggy state. It’s beyond frustrating. I’ve been home for four months now, and the isolation is eating away at me. I can’t see my friends. I can’t even get out to take a walk. All the energy I thought I had for 2025 just feels drained before it even started. It’s honestly disheartening. I hate this feeling of being stuck, not able to do the simplest things. I want to move. I want to be out there, doing life like I used to.

But you know what? This year, I’m prioritizing my health and well-being above everything else. If we’re not 100%—physically, emotionally, mentally—how are we supposed to show up for others? How are we going to be the support system that people need if we’re running on empty? I’ve had to learn that the hard way. So, this year, it’s all about getting back to myself and taking things one step at a time. I’m not rushing anything.

One thing I promised myself this year, though? No more putting people on pedestals—especially men. It’s been a thing I’ve carried for so long, thinking that others have some special power, or that they’re somehow better, more worthy than me. But no. I’m human too. I’m kind. I’m worthy. I shouldn’t be putting myself down or making excuses for others. There’s a reason why people are attracted to us. We have something valuable to offer, too. This year is about owning my value and not letting anyone make me feel small.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m not enough. This year, I want to focus on my health, my happiness, and stop settling for less than I deserve. Time to stop making excuses. And that starts with letting go of the expectations and pressure I’ve put on myself for so long. No more comparing, no more feeling behind. It’s my time to heal, to grow, and to remember that I’m not alone in this journey.

Here’s to taking it slow, focusing on what really matters, and giving myself the grace I deserve.