Birthday Sorrows

Dear Momma,

Today would’ve been your birthday.

It’s your birthday and no one is celebrating and you aren’t getting older.

It’s your birthday, and I’m looking in the mirror, picking out the parts of me that are you.

I don’t think there’s a single day that goes by that I don’t think of you.

I see you in all the little things in life.

I see you in the sunlight streaming through my window.

I see you in the daffodils that grow in the park near my house.

I see you in the rainbows but also in the broken limbs of trees after storms.

I see you in the teardrops on my pillow, after I cry from the ache of missing you, an ache that never goes away.

I see you in the trauma I’ve collected, as I put up walls so I won’t get hurt again.

I see you everywhere. Sometimes I wish I could forget you but a large part of me knows that I will hold onto your memories like a pirate hoards treasure.

I hope you are watching over me Momma, and I hope you are proud of the person I’ve become.

I love you.

I miss you.

Love Always,

Your Petunia