An Old Load

This load is getting old,

I'm about to explode,

Erode into the landscape,

Escaping the feeling of being,

Seeing all that needs to be done,

Just to be able to have fun,

Conditioned by everyone around,

I learned not to make a sound,

I found other means to advance,

A profound experience,

Bound my existence,

Building resistance,

Each instance less significant,

Downright different,

Imprinting new perspectives,

Being selective of my choice,

Raising my inner voice,

Hoisting self esteem,

Confidence Gleaming,

As I'm streaming thoughts,

I fought hard to get here,

Bought into a lie for years,

Tears fill my eyes,

As I realize,

I orchestrated my own demise,

My prize hidden by a load I carry,

It's very hard to release,

I use to feel mostly grief,

Now I'm changing my belief.