Acidic Lessons

All that I was exposed to

scarred me where my heart is

thought patterns introduced

before I was able to choose them

-

all the mental abuse

unhealthy pains, I misuse them

searching for truth, but there’s clearly no

absolutes, a thousand shades of grey between

the two supposed choices,

-

black and white, monochrome,

-

I used to try to fight but now

I’m slowly giving up on

giving up my pains,

I had no control over

all that I was shown

and now try to navigate

these complicated schemas,

re-tracing steps I never knew

I was taking

hoping that there’s still time,

that it’s not too late.

-

Your teachings were corrosive, lessons

infused with hate,

attempting to unlearn them,

aiming to avoid bleak fates.

-

You were only human,

but

your hate is all consuming.

You tried to build a bubble,

every message within muddled,

and now I try to pop it

and feel

alive again,

moving slowly

out of the glue you

used to hold me.