Preserving Beauty

As kids, we dip our hands into paint and see what our tiny fingers can create. We jump into sandboxes to see if the sand can shape and mold into what we’ve envisioned and played out in our mind. For a few minutes the entire world pauses as we touch pen to paper, shovel to sand, or fingers to clay. Nothing matters in those moments except the creation. That’s why art is important.

I’ve always been anxious, especially as a kid. I was always nervous that some catastrophe was going to happen to my family and I, whether it be a car crash, a deranged person choosing us as targets, or a giant sinkhole swallowing our home. I would perch on my bed and look out my window - which had a perfect view of my front yard and the street - and I would simply watch, waiting for disaster. Now, thankfully, disaster never really struck. Sure there were inconveniences and bad things that happened, but there was no asteroid coming for my house, or a sniper watching me from the bushes. I’m not sure when art truly became an interest of mine but I recall a time when my mind’s idleness led to art projects rather than catastrophic events.

In seventh grade, I distinctly remember feeling the hot burn in my cheeks as the other kids in my class began sharing where they would travel with their families for spring break. I felt embarrassed that I would travel nowhere, but I noticed my attention slowly turning from my lack of a vacation to my chalk painting and the beautiful, elegant branches of my tree.

This shift has continued since that time in art class. I remember walking down the hallway of my high school, feeling a cool calm as I approached the ceramics studio, before I’d even laid my hands on clay. Kneading the clay felt like preparing my mind for what was to come as I shifted and shaped the cold wet clay into something I’d only dreamed of. I’ve felt this way in not only ceramics, but metal and woodworking, painting, and now, multimedia textiles. These art forms have each allowed me to express myself in different ways; however, creating textile art using thread, beads, and flowers have allowed me to express myself in the most fulfilling way.

I started this art during a time in my life when I was feeling particularly depressed and anxious. I had lost my sense of purpose, struggling to find meaning for many months, and the pandemic wasn’t exactly helping. Thankfully, when I first started thinking about creating, it became easier to once again take inspiration from the life constantly surrounding me. The gentle sway of the trees, the simple beauty of flowers, the infinite love I feel - all of this inspires me and motivates me to create. My mind first started to churn while I was staring at the various colors and shapes of flowers I’d dried in vases, wondering how I could make their short lives infinite. The flowers were plucked for my enjoyment, and they gave me intense gratitude and hope in times of trouble. I wanted to pay them back, to show how much I valued them. This admiration, love, and appreciation for flowers is what led me to start creating art with them.

The greatest aspect of the art I create is that it is a constant journey; there are endless steps and hours that go into creating my projects. I dye my own fabrics with fruits, vegetables, and spices, standing over the pot as I watch my fabric turn from white to light purple to blue. When it’s finished, I marvel at the colors as there are spots of purple, pink, and blue, and bits of fruit still clinging on. I read poetry to work my mind, to envision scenes of peace. One of my favorite poets is Rumi; he provides visions of infinite love and life, of the divine, of the soul. As I read his poetry, my mind swells with enlightenment and peace as visions of doves and flowers and trees fill my head, pushing my worries and anxieties far away. When I have a vision of what I want to create, I begin the creative process of drawing and coloring, looking at images online, checking my flower stock, and finally begin to embroider.

Embroidering is one of the most peaceful arts I have experienced, and the one that I find I can express myself most. It is meditative from start to finish: from choosing the colors, to drawing the design, to stitching. I’ve spent countless hours listening to the pluck of the needle breaking through the fabric and the sound of the thread pulling through. Perhaps my favorite part though, is fastening the most beautiful dried flowers to my creations. Giving the flowers a new purpose, putting them on display, and admiring them forever feels incredibly special.

To finish a piece is gratifying beyond words. Art is the ultimate form of gratification, we take something that is only seen by our mind’s eye and we shape it into reality. The great thing about art is that no matter what we’re feeling, we can use that as momentum to create; I’ve created when I’ve felt depressed and anxious, happy, sad, nervous, fulfilled, unfulfilled, and I’ve never once regretted picking up my supplies and working out what was in my head. Each piece of art is perfectly unique to us. No one can create the same thing or even have the same interpretation. Our art is there for others to dive into and get lost in, as we did when we created it. Art is the perfect form of self expression and it is 100% ours.