Making art that feels like magic

I love art and creative expression. They get me so excited. I love making art, I love looking at art, I love talking about art. Even seeing other people being creative brings me joy. I'm getting all fired up just writing this...

I’ve been an artist all my life… or at least creative in as many ways as I could get away with. Growing up, my brother and I were exposed to a lot of art and opportunities for creative expression so I think that had a big impact on me. Because of this, I’ve lived my life constantly making and creating. I took art all through high school, I went to art school for college, I worked as a costume designer and maker for many years as well as engaging in a multitude of various other creative endeavors. Having lived my life as creatively expressed as I can, the one thing that seems to fulfill my soul the most is making collages. Making collages feels like I'm making magic, manifesting something special.

Making analog paper collage- that is, taking vintage paper or cardboard ephemera and cutting it out by hand, arranging it and gluing it down is only one of many types of collage making trending these days. Just like any kind of creative expression, there are multiple ways to create collage but I think the two biggest differences are digital collage and analog collage. Digital collage being done primarily on a computer or tablet, where digitally sourced images are then manipulated and arranged, then printed or presented digitally. Analog collage is art being made with real paper or materials, hand cut and glued on real paper or backing. I personally choose the latter option. I love cutting out materials by hand. It gives a real hand-made quality to my art that is important to me. It has imperfections that can only be there because it was created by an imperfect human.

I have a deep love for making collages because it fulfills me in a way no other artmaking process ever has. Because of this response, it feels more personal and more important too, like performing a ritual or engaging in a spiritual practice. The act and process of creating collage art feeds my soul. If I'm feeling a certain kind of way and need to sort out my brain, I start looking at my stacks of collage ephemera or vintage magazines until I find imagery or text that resonates with me. Even if the outcome I am looking for is just to sort out my brain at that moment. A lot of the time I'm not sure of the outcome until the act of art-making is completed. Oftentimes, the art tells ME what it needs to be- as I finger through page after page of images and advertisements, I look for something that resonates with me. Resonate meaning finding an image or text that feels like the right piece to use in that moment. I just KNOW when I see it, and I tear or cut out that page. Eventually I have a pile of pages that've been removed from books or magazines that then need to be cut. After cutting out all the images I think I want, I start layering them together with various backgrounds in different combinations. I play and play with combinations of images until the collage feels done. I will usually work on multiple collages at the same time, juggling a cut-out image from one pile of collected images or layouts to the next. I never know what the images will be when I'm starting my search and rarely have a plan for the completed works. But I always end up with something significant in the end.

Making analog collages, like life, feels like it’s more about the journey than a destination. It’s about the processing my brain and body engages in to create this art. The experience of searching for the right images and combining them in a way that resonates best with my mind at that moment is why I look at it like making art magic- like casting a spell, and even like art-therapy. There are different aspects of this creative process that feels magical. There are the materials I use, which are vintage books and magazines from between the years 1920 and1980, I also like vintage educational materials such as textbooks or educational visual aids for children. When I am looking at these materials that are being repurposed, I can't help but think about the ‘other life’ that these books and materials existed in before I got a hold on them. The images I use have a story that I will never know about, but that I feel adds an unseen/unknown dimension to the works. Much like casting a spell, I search for and focus on the most ideal images and materials to manifest the outcome I want. Sometimes the outcome I want is just to understand myself or my circumstances better. Life is often heavy and difficult, and it’s easy to stifle ourselves and not give ourselves space to just be expressive and let our creativity flow. By creating these collages, i'm giving myself the creative space to work through whatever is inside me. That feels really good. It’s catharsis.

I think I make the best work when I feel extra emotionally burdened. When my brain is talking too loud or the cops in my head are being especially rough or oppressive. Making a collage helps clear out that noise, and helps me get control of my inner thoughts and feelings. Making a collage will help me figure out what's going on in there. Looking at image after image and page after page searching for things that resonate with me. Scouring book after book until something cat catches my eye and maybe something about the image looks or makes me feel a certain way. Like when you smell a smell that transports you to memory of another place and time in your life experience. It’s hard to explain this magical process. How do you verbalize a process that you only have a small understanding of? I feel like these colleges are 70% me and 30% magic/chance/universal destiny. Even though the artmaking might start from negative emotions or the overabundance of feelings, the outcome is ALWAYs pleasant. I always feel relieved and pleased when I've come up with a collage or two.

I think activities that bring people joy can be very personal. Like a relationship, only you and that partner can understand it fully because you two are the only ones experiencing it together. From the outside, people see what they see but they won’t ever REALLY know what it is like to experience it. The joy I get from creating college feels personal and intimate. From the outside it may look mysterious and magical. It’s difficult to understand and distill the whole process into component parts. Some people find their joy in what may seem like simpler experiences. I think everyone's experience is rich and complex like life itself. What may look simple on the external rarely is.

My collages range from deeply personal to purely comical but ultimately they are ALL deeply personal because they are manifested from my subconscious. It feels like they create themselves and I'm just the vessel that brings this art into the world. THAT is what brings me joy. From start to finish, making collages adds pure pleasure to my life and I can’t imagine living any other way.