Connecting Through Stitch

I started sewing almost ten years ago. Coming from a line of women untrained in the domestic arts, I found that, at the age of forty, finding the concentration needed to thread my needle happily displaced any and all stressful thoughts.

So I continued, to the point where it had taken over the time I usually dedicated to smoking cigarettes. All sorts of experiments followed, but my favourite projects remain making quilts by hand, using cloth from old clothes (mine and other people’s) or lengths bought on holiday - so each quilt had a range of associations built in.

When the UK officially went into lockdown in 2020, I had to call off my 50th birthday party. When friends asked me what I wanted as a present I was stumped. The main thing I missed was simply the possibility of their presence. The ‘party’ was to have been a day of collective gardening in my backyard - not easily replicable on zoom or WhatsApp. Something, which at the end of the day, a group of people can take a step back from and collectively enjoy a sense of achievement: “We made that”.

So, a week later - I emailed the original group and asked them to work with me on a new project - a quilt. Everyone was to send me a piece of fabric with a word stitched on that summed up what it means to them to be connected to other people.

Since then it’s been passed on through friends of friends, family members of colleagues and across my immediate community. Almost every week I have received a physical object - something tactile that has been worked by the hand of another human being and expresses something uniquely personal and important to them.

I can’t quite describe how immensely moving that is.

And, alongside the pile of fabric squares mounting on the side of my desk I also have a precious stack of notes where people (including some I have never met) explain why a particular word or phrase evokes the need for connection for them.

One of the most poignant was from a woman who lost her father as a child and would connect and remember him in her thought and prayers. It became a way of navigating her own bereavement. As she eloquently puts it: “I thought of him and remembered him in my prayers, whenever I felt like it. By now this has become my way of keeping connected with anyone I have not seen or do not see often”.

Another contributor revealed she had found the act of focussing on a positive word and stitching it so rewarding she was about to make another for her own home.

There are some themes that come up repeatedly through different words. Contributions from younger people, such as ‘the force’ and ‘wifi’, are both witty and demonstrate the difference in how generations have experienced the pandemic and lockdown.

Mutual support, shared interest, mutual aid, community, laughter, participate, food and harmony all have reciprocity at their heart and work through sharing and active contribution.

Words such as smile, kindness, friendship and gratitude speak to an emotional need that is nourished through other people.

I feel fortunate so many people have shared their work with me. The project is much bigger than any birthday party I have ever had. I have decided to stop when I get to fifty squares and then I will back it with a huge blanket and use it for large picnic gatherings.

And it has got me thinking even more about my craft and the opportunity it gives to bring people together, creatively working towards a goal collectively. After ten years of stitching on my own I will be starting an online stitching group in September to explore wellbeing, connection, resilience and community - all things we have learned to value more in the past year.

In a small way it’s how I plan to share the ‘quarantine quilt’ back with those who have given their thought, skill and care to participate. And I think that last word is part of the magic: being connected is about participating - being active, giving and receiving: and making something better than your would on your own.