Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

For $5, I become a Zombie. I found one of those cheap makeup kits during Halloween of 2013 and put together a last-minute costume to go to a bar. I’ll never forget all of the stares from people when I walked by. Some were terrified, some were amazed, and some even asked if I did makeup professionally. I’ve always enjoyed Halloween but that year felt different. Something had awakened inside of me.

Days after Halloween, I would scout all the stores for 50-90% off makeup, costumes, and accessories. I just bought whatever I could find and saved it for next year. This pattern continued, and I collected so many bottles of blood, face paint, hair spray, and latex. And each year, I would create a new, yet typical, look: a skeleton, Freddy Krueger, a two-faced Marilyn Monroe with one side showing a beauty mark and red lips and the other half with burned flesh and exposed teeth. Okay … well not every look was typical but my skills kept evolving without any practice. I would spend a few hours each year using household products like scissors, cotton balls, toilet paper, flour, and mushed bananas to create cuts and scars. For those wondering, mushed bananas add texture and the “meatiness” to an open wound. It’s pretty disgusting, actually.

In 2017, I had an epiphany: Why am I waiting 365 days to spend just one day doing something I absolutely love? I didn’t have to wait until Halloween to create. I could transform into a monster whenever I wanted. Special effects makeup then became my unique hobby, and now, my fun fact during ice breakers.

As I created more often, I developed my own aesthetic and process. The most fascinating part for me with special effects is showcasing the idea that something can be horrifically beautiful. I feel that I have mastered this aesthetic even when my face is frost bitten, a piece of my nose is decaying, and my fingers have gangrene because viewers have admitted they have found the look to be disturbingly pleasing. As far as my process, all of my special effects designs have been first attempts and completed in one sitting (which may take 3 to 6+ hours). I have yet to create the same look twice.

Although this aesthetic has guided my craft, I have always felt it was a way to keep things “safe.” Not too scary but just enough to make others cringe. A few months ago, I wanted to really push my comfort zone and create my own original monster. I love molding my own fangs, and I wanted to go all out this time. So, I built my first prosthetic. The prosthetic consisted of aluminum foil, paper towel, both duct and electric tape, homemade latex paste, and alcohol activated paints. The total build took a few hours and it had to dry overnight. I had no idea how this design would turn out; I just knew it had to be true horror.

I transformed into a “Flesheater of the Forest,” which is a creature born with elf characteristics or actual elves possessed by evil beings. This was the first time I couldn’t even recognize myself. I absolutely enjoy being a self-taught special effects artist. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be identifying myself as an artist, and especially, nothing with special effects. But sometimes, creativity calls to you.

I would love to spend more time on this craft and push my limits even further. I have made the promise to myself to make sure I create something at least every three months. It is important to dedicate time to something that makes you happy even if it scares the crap out of everyone else.