Toxic Relationships

What makes a relationship toxic? How do I know I know if I’m in a toxic relationship? I used to ask the same exact questions while experiencing it. Relationships can turn out to be great, beautiful, or the complete opposite.

Knowing how to read signs is so important in a relationship. Knowing the difference between something being “cute” and something being too controlling, for example, your significant other could say to cover up and you think to yourself “that’s kind of cute, he doesn’t want anyone to see me like that” but rethink the situation. A statement like that could mean nothing to you at the moment but that’s a sign to take into consideration. Controlling is a sign of someone being toxic, it starts off with something as small as a shirt and it grows to them having full control over you. You’re not allowed to go out, make decisions, dress how you want, say what you want. All to please your s/o.

At this point in the relationship you think it’s just because your partner is being protective over you or taking care of you. Love is definitely blinding, it could make you see what you want to see rather than what’s actually going on. As you continue to stand by this person you don’t realize how you’re losing yourself slowly, putting in effort to please someone without thinking of yourself.

Toxic relationships get you to a point where you don’t know what to do in your position. Whether you should leave that person or keep trying, what we don’t really understand is the more you try the more you lose.

Being in a toxic relationship takes so much out of a person, motivation, self esteem, control, love, stress.. etc. It could feel like you’re stuck.

When we start a relationship with our partner we expect someone you can turn to when you feel down, when your self esteem or confidence is low, when you’re having a problem, literally anything, but being a toxic relationship can feel like you’re alone because your partner just isn’t there for you.

Someone toxic tends to lash out especially to the ones who seem to be there for them. That could cause you to feel useless or worthless, feeling like everything is your fault, carrying the responsibility of your partners happiness, but what about yours?

In situations like this you have to take some time for yourself and think, re evaluate your life with that person in it. We all have been in the position where we love someone and think love is enough and it isn’t. You could be deeply in love but that isn’t just enough to keep a healthy relationship, it requires so much more.

Don’t lose yourself trying to please someone and putting your focus all on them. Think about yourself and the time you’ve spent dealing with it, when was the last time you felt happy or free? Go back to the person you used to be before. From personally experience, physically I wasn’t myself anymore, mentally I wasn’t thinking straight. It was hard, really hard to make a decision but I wasn’t gonna let someone keep bringing me down. I made the decision to put myself first because no one else would and it was the best decision I’ve made.