The 8 Relational Needs of Men, the Six Directions of the Self in Relationships

Relational needs are emotional needs that can be met through interaction and genuine social connection. When these needs are not met, intense and tense feelings appear that are experienced as loneliness, inner emptiness.

One of the essential concepts in Integrative Psychotherapy is the concept of Relational Needs. These are needs that arise and grow due to human interaction to connect.

Being aware of these needs helps us regulate and develop the relationships around us, to realize the reality of the person I interact with, their motivations, and emotions. Relational needs are emotional needs that can be met through interaction and genuine social connection.

When these needs are not met, intense and tense feelings appear that are experienced as loneliness, inner emptiness. Such experiences can be lived much more intensely by those who have not received the necessary attention and affection as children; their relationship needs have not been met.

8 Relational Needs were identified:

1. The need for security. To consider a relationship as secure, we need to feel accepted and that there is no danger of losing the connection.

2. The need to be validated and meaningful. There is a need to be appreciated for who you are and understood by others.

3. Need for Acceptance by another person offering protection. This need is related to investing in parents, teachers, and mentors to gain encouragement, security, and information.

4. The need for reciprocity or confirmation of one's own experience. There is a need for someone similar who has a similar experience.

5. The need for self-definition is the opposite of the above. We discuss exploring and identifying the unique characteristics that set us apart from others.

6. The need to have an impact on another person.

7. The need to initiate contact with another person. We refer to reciprocity in the relationship, the desire for connection to end, and the interlocutor.

8. The need to express love.

There are six directions related to the Self in relationships:

1. Biological: the relationship of the Self with the body. We address our relationship with our own body and explore the experience, how we live our body and our relationship with it.

2. Intrapsychic: the relationship of the Self with the Self. We refer to the inner world of a person's experiences, the dialogues between parts of the Self, and how it develops over time.

3. Interpersonal: the relationship of the Self with others. Here we follow interpersonal relationships and negotiate the connection with those around us. It follows the attachment and personal relationships that create relationships and emotional needs throughout life.

4. Intercultural and contextual: the relationship between Self and context: we refer to social, political, historical, economic, cultural, and organizational influences on self-development.

5. Ecological: the relationship of the Self with the environment. It follows here the person's relationship with the natural environment and how it influences his existence in the world.

6. Transcendental: the relationship of the Self with the spiritual world. We follow the way we seek to give a broader meaning to existence and how it can be acquired through the development of the spiritual Self.

What is at the heart of Integrative Psychotherapy is the therapeutic relationship. Interventions are guided by relational needs and development and advanced knowledge of defense systems and how specific defense mechanisms have been learned and developed to manage certain situations.

The therapeutic relationship can be compared to a dance of mutual interactions that occurs during therapy and differs in intensity.

Central to the integrative vision of psychotherapy is the concept of co-creating or co-building relationships. This concept refers to the fact that no relationship is built in one direction and is extremely useful in the psychotherapeutic relationship.

In this way, the relational process is co-constructed and constantly evolving, and both the patient and the therapist progressively impact each other.