CREATING YOUR ABUNDANCE

CREATING YOUR ABUNDANCE

I wonder if Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg ever signed up to a course called 'Creating your Abundance'. I suspect not. The only abundance being felt is by the company running the course, and being urged to think positively is not alleviating the stress of dealing with my very real bills. I normally work in tourism, something of an oxymoronic statement nowadays.

My phone says it’s the 1st of February 2021, but it can’t be. I’ve been playing with the concept of lucid dreaming recently. Perhaps this is it in action. No, I definitely wouldn’t invite my dog’s foul bottom emissions  into any lucid dream. So it’s true. It really is February 2021 and that means it has been a year since I last worked, and a year since a single penny had manifested its way into my account. My bank account has clearly not received the memo about abundance.

And however much I try to focus on the abundance making its way to me and not contemplate the lack of it, my dwindling funds mimic the mocking voice in my head. But I am so far down this path I don’t know the way back, even though the path ahead is far from clear. I know all the theory,  but God, it’s exhausting maintaining a high vibe to attract the abundance into my life. 9 to 5 as a cashier in Tescos feels like it might well be the path of least resistance.   Maybe there is a force field surrounding  the British isles, created by the collective thoughts of deeply cynical Brits, that keeps the abundance from flowing in.

I know I shouldn’t pay it any attention, after all I have the power to choose which thoughts to entertain or not, but try as I might, I can’t tune out that persistent little voice starting out as whisper but rising in a crescendo -  “Just one more month and you will have been high vibing for a WHOLE BLOODY YEAR AND WHERE HAS IT GOT YOU?? Huh! Why is it that this voice can break through the force field, whereas all the positive thinking, abundance affirming stuff can’t?

Focus woman, FOCUS! OK, back to the course:  “Module 1: Creating  a set of tools; personalised rituals to break through your money blocks and allow the abundance to flow. Money is just an energy, you either attract it to you or you block it. Your tools will help you to overcome the resistance and to allow the law of attraction to let your abundance in. You create your own symbols & signs and imbue them with the power to attract money to you. Think of an object, a stone, a pen, anything that will hold meaning for YOU, that will serve as a talisman, & when you focus on it, know that money is flowing your way.” 

I close my eyes. When I open them I will choose the first thing I see to focus upon as my talisman. And, open. Before me was my scrappy old black notebook, overflowing with story ideas, random thoughts and feelings and half-baked attempts at keeping a gratitude journal. It was full to overflowing with scraps of paper containing hastily scribbled ideas. I really need a new one but these days all the book shops are closed. Such a shame, I love going into the old fashioned book shop on the high street that refuses to give in to the onslaught of the Amazonian crusade. Aaand once again I was off on another equally diverting & totally unproductive stream of thought. 

Back to my object & investing it with the magic that would allow my abundance to flow to me. Once again my bulging black notebook catches my eye. Got it. My object will be a a brand shiny new little black book in which both to house my story ideas & gratitude entries, AND serve as the talisman to let in my long awaited abundance. Two for the price of one. Perfect. 

First part of the homework done, I turn to the second. This is even harder. Leave Facebook. I feel anxious. And then anxious about the fact that I feel anxious. Just one last look. One final bite.

Until one particular post stops me in my tracks: