The Key is Me

I, a simple sinner, looked through the key hole.

Inside was a sight that locked me in my place. I was no longer outside of the room, but I wasn’t quite in it either. It was as if I was held in place between two worlds. My world, and this foreign one.

The room was small. It was filled by a single black bistro table and its two matching chairs. Sitting on the left chair was a demon. It was neither man nor woman, but its beauty was mesmerizing. Sitting across from the demon was an angel. The angel was similar to the devil in the sense that it was beautiful, but for different reasons. The demon had traits that any person who gazed upon it would find satisfying, whereas the angel didn’t really have features. Instead, it had a warm glow that made one feel its beauty.

Between them, sitting on the bistro table, was one of those desktop mirrors that flipped around and the walls themselves were giant screens that played various scenes from all over the world.

When the mirror was facing the angel, the screens depicted pleasant scenes where people got along and helped one another. When the mirror was facing the demon, images of hell and various sins took center stage.

At first glance; it appeared the two were talking, but upon closer inspection they seemed to be trapped where they sat. Which was similar to the fate I found myself in. Like me, they stared at the screens but with a much closer eye than myself and without two beliefs obstructing what was shown.

Time passed. I knew because it was the only thing I could feel anymore. The temperature would cool off during the night, just to be replaced by heat in the morning. It made me crave change, but the only things that I could see change were the mirror’s reflection and what was on the screens.

This loop continued for days, but I never got hungry or thirsty. I never had to relieve myself, nor did I ever get drowsy. It was as if, in this moment, I was immortal just like the beings I watched through the keyhole.

It was funny. I had always viewed my mortality as a bad thing before. Leaving this world and losing all sense of self, but now that I sit here in perpetual limbo I realize what a gift death can be. I stare at the demon and angel wondering what they could be feeling? Had they ever been alive? Did they exist before I looked through the keyhole, or was it my temptation to gaze through that created them? If I had ignored it, perhaps they wouldn’t have to suffer here.

As time continued to drip away, things within the room changed. The sound of pain from both the demon and the angel, along with the screens were too much to bear. I desperately wanted to cover my ears but I couldn’t. I had to sit there and listen to my mistake causing pain to those before me. I wanted it to stop, but I couldn’t pull myself away. They were beautiful. I loved seeing them, even though I was trapped in this strange world. I prayed for their peace, for an end to their suffering, but pleaded that I could keep watching.

Eventually my prayer was answered, but not in the way I expected. Some flash blinded me and the demon and angel merged. There was only one chair now and it was across from me. I was still looking through the keyhole, but the half demon, half angel was now staring directly at me. The mirror was now pointing at me as well.

Within the mirror was the other half of the demon and the angel but, like the one in front of me, they shared a body. I looked closer at the dangel, my oh so original portmanteau, and saw that it was me. Same hazel colored eyes. Same bulbous nose and thick brows. How did this happen? When did I become this? Was I always this?

Then I saw it. The chains that shackled the dangel to the chair. They were protruding from the screen behind them. Before, the scenes seemed to be random. Now the screen was filled with past mistakes. My sins, and good deeds flashed before the screen. When they were sins the dangel, and my reflection, were demons. When the screen depicted good deeds, it was the angel and myself in the reflection. I guess I was too far gone to be angelic, but the human form was much nicer than the demonic one. While in that skin it felt as if hot coals were being placed upon me, causing me to squirm.

The whole thing was too much. I wanted to be done, but I couldn’t pull away. The screen shifted once more to my eye peeping through the keyhole. It blinked in confusion. What did all of this mean?

A loud thud drew my attention back to the table. The dangel and mirror were gone and all that sat on the table was a phone. I could feel my fingers tingle. The first itch I’ve had throughout this hellish experience. I wanted it. I wanted the soft, blue lit glow to shut off my brain, weigh down my eyes, and transport me to whatever I desired. I wanted colorful apps, engaging games, and algorithms to pump me full of dopamine and make all of my troubles go away. I didn’t care if I was the devil or the angel, I just couldn’t keep sitting there. The keyhole was my life. There were tol many choices. Too many outcomes and opportunities to fail. The screen was all I needed.

A twinge of doubt crept into my mind, as if warning me. I could finally feel my body again and it needed. My stomach growled, my bladder swelled, and my entire body ached. The wooden door had weight and I could push off it and go back to whatever it was I was doing before peeping through the keyhole, but the itch was there.

I twisted the doorknob and I heard the familiar click of my phone unlocking. The door swung wide. The room seemed even smaller now. The screens were a staticky white and grey but the phone on the table was vibrant.

“Leave it behind,” whispered a voice that sounded familiar. Was it mine? I looked back out the door. Trees swayed, animals chittered and danced. It was serene. I could do anything if I just took that first step towards the door.

Ding!

But the phone was easy.

I rushed to the table and grabbed the phone. Doing so caused the door to slam shut.

I’m alone.

Everything is dark, and only the glow is the light from my phone.

It comforts me.

What was happening?

Ding!

That’s right, I was answering a message!

I sat down at the table and let the screen embrace me. Sure, I was alone and had no idea what was going on, but at least I was in control.