The Fog of War

Black became light gray.

“Hey, you in there? Can you hear me?”

“I don’t think he’s truly coming out of it yet. Let’s give him more time. Put him under again, we’ll try again in a few days.”

Black.

*****

Light gray.

“You know, you really are lucky to be alive.”

“He’s not processing a thing you say, Shirl. Don’t overload what’s left of his circuits on things he can’t grasp.”

“I just want him to there’s someone out here rooting for him to come back.”

“He likely knows that part. Otherwise, he’d have already checked out on his own. He’s got something to live for. Great, glad to hear it, but that’s not going to help if you don’t keep trying to pull him out earlier than needed! Stop messing with his meds, and his healing and recovery, or I will report you to the doctor! Do I make myself clear?”

“Fine. Here, I’m putting him back under, see?”

Black.

*****

Dark gray.

“See, I still come in here to check on him, when Nurse Stickintheass isn’t here to tattle on me-”

“Ahem. Doctor, I told you she was up to her old tricks!”

“Nurse Shirley Jackson. You will follow the security detail here. Major, I want her bounced out so fast and so far that she gets permanent road rash.”

“But, but, it wasn’t me! I was stopping the intern here-”

“Really? The intern that just started rounds two days ago, when we’ve been monitoring this situation for weeks? On the edge of a war zone, and you’re really going to blame it on the intern? Major, get her out of here before I recall that I’ve sworn oaths to do no harm. See if you can get to the bottom of her obsession with this particular soldier, that she can’t follow direct orders.”

“No! No! You can’t, he needs me! I need to be here! When he wakes up, I need to be heeeeerreeee-”

“War makes us all mad. Some just crack more spectacularly than others. Nurse, Intern, I apologize that you had to see this. Nurse Torres, would you kindly take over training the intern, properly, this time? I will not have this chaos on my floors.”

“Gladly, Doctor. Intern Dooley and I will get along just fine. She may be a civilian volunteer, but she’s got an excellent head on her shoulders.”

“Good, good. We don’t need this in a war zone. Carry on, while I make sure no one else has been disturbed by the fracas.”

“Sure thing, Doctor.” Rustling noises, a door closing. “Hunh, a legit response. Did you see his eyes flicker when the door closed? A good sign, that he’s recovering, but bad that he’s had repeated forced wake-ups, when it’s supposed to be done slowly. Shirl used to be dependable, once upon a time. Did she say anything to you? About this?”

“No, ma’am. We were on rounds, and this room was not part of it. We were passing the door, and she got this look on her face, said ‘watch this.’” Pulled out an old-fashioned hairpin, picked the lock, and dragged me in to show me how to wake him up.”

“She had a thing about this particular soldier ever since he was rolled in. His entire squad got wiped out, but he survived – barely. Induced coma to let the multiple emergency surgeries take hold. He’s got a rare blood type, which I happen to share, so there’s still a remnant of my donation pumping around in him. Strong fella. He’s been here long enough that he might get another pint from me in a week. Most everyone else, once we get them stable, we move them away from the battle lines. He’s been strong enough to live, but not strong enough to move, thanks to Shirl’s interference. I could strangle her just for that, but I think I’ll have to wait in line. Doctor Cooper’s not one I would ever cross, ever. Remember that.”

“I will.”

“Ugh, I figured his vitals would be all over the place after that mess. I’m correct. Thank you for writing them down as I blather. Coop and I had wanted to start bringing him out of it, but it looks like we’ll have to put him back under again, just one more time. I hope, just one more. We won’t know till he fully wakes just how much damage has been done. And we’re keeping him strapped down because if he doesn’t have persistent PTSD from this, I’ll eat my uniform. He’ll likely be combative, not know friend from enemy.”

“Sounds like a tough recovery.”

“It’s been a tough recovery, this just adds to it. I’ve been trying to help, shifting him to prevent bed sores, massaging his muscles, talking to him. Had to lock the door on Shirl numerous times. Here all this time I thought she was just jiggling the lock, instead of actively trying to pick it open! All right, let’s give some muscles a brisk but gentle rub, then we’ll shift him onto his side towards me a little, adjust the tie-down straps. Then we’ll put him under again, but not as much as before. I don’t like those vitals, but we’ve got to move him soon.”

Vague movement. I could feel movement, and my arms felt warm. Then my legs felt warm. It felt good, to feel warmth again.

“Nurse, do I see his hands twitching?”

“I believe we do! Well, that’s an improvement! But time to strap him up, before he wakes up too fast and thinks we’re the enemy. Now, here’s how to administer the dosage properly…”

Fade to black, slowly.

***

Black to dark gray, dark gray to light gray. Blinding white gray.

Shouting. Noises. Deep thuds. High sharp tapping.

Explosions. Gunfire…

...and I’m back in the tank.

It’s happening / it’s happening / it’s happening again / Sam, watch out, watch out!

“Aw, honey, I was afraid of this. Listen to me, please. I’m a nurse, and I’ve been helping you for the past two months, to recover. I can’t get near you, you’re thrashing. You’re back there, watching your squad die all over again. They’re gone, you’re here. In a hospital. You had… complications, and we couldn’t evacuate you when we should have. Well, now the war’s caught up to us, so we have to evacuate you immediately. If you’re calm, I can get you stable, and we’ll get you out of here. Can you hear me? We need to get you out of here. We need to get you to safety. Let me get those restraints off you, and get you off fluids, so we can get you out of here. Okay?”

Leaving. Out of here. Yeah, sounds good.

“I’m just cutting these things off. They’ll get in the way when we’re moving. Carla, can you come in here and help me? With two pushing, we can get moving in no time.”

“No time!” A new voice, a harsh one. “Leave him! We can’t afford to be weighed down! Drop him and let’s go!”

“Doctor, what the hell are you saying? No one is left behind!”

“Do as I say! We don’t have time for this!” Sounds of a scuffle, a slap. A gasp, and a smack. A snarl.

“Fine, then kill him! He’s dead wood anyway! Get out before you’re a casualty too!”

“Who do you think you are? Doctor Cooper would have never acted this way! We could have been away already if you’d helped us!”

“Cooper’s dead, and I’m in charge! There’s the morphine, use it! That’s an order!” Footsteps running away.

Harsh breathing. “Carla, go. No, go. Get the rest of the wounded out. No matter what happens, you don’t need to be here for it.” Light footsteps, fading.

More harsh breathing, tubes brushing over my skin.

“So. I’m being forced to leave you. I won’t kill you. That’s insane, and I will have Doctor Smith brought up on a court-martial, if I can. A slime ball, in a lab coat.” More fussing. Something in my hand. “That’s the plunger. We’re being overrun, and I have to leave you behind, and I hate it. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! If you wish to die, just hit the plunger. They might kill you, they may not. I don’t know. Maybe playing dead will save you. I have to leave, please, I’m so sorry.”

Footsteps, fading away. Shouts. Shots. A scream. More footsteps, running past. Silence.

Fade to black.