Such Is Life In Soviet Russia

One day in glorious Russia, a small peasant child was working in the field for the good of the party. The dirty peasant child then came upon a potato stuck in the soil of glorious Russia. Peasant child tried to pull the potato out of the ground but he was too weak. Dirty peasant then grabbed the potato and jerked it out of the pure Russian soil. Stupid peasant child then failed to notice a marking on the potato which said property of the USA.

The dumb peasant child then went inside of his glorious Russian house and showed the capitalist owned potato to his mother. His mother being the dumb peasant woman that she is didn’t notice the American marking on the potato. Unintelligent Russian peasant woman then praised the capitalist owned potato for being so thick. The stupid peasant woman then decided they would have the American dog owned potato for supper tonight. Later that night the peasant boy’s moronic father then cut up the forbidden potato into four pieces.

After eating the potato soup the boy, his parents, and his sister then washed the dishes and went to bed. Almost immediately the very stupid peasant child fell asleep. Later that night as the boy slept a sound outside awakened him from his slumber. The sound was coming from the cold streets of Mother Russia. It was a voice which called out to the boy.

"Where is my potato, you no good dirty ruskie?!" it yelled.

Stupid peasant boy didn't understand the capitalist voice. He only understands the language of Mother Russia. Smooth brain Russian child thought he was safe because he thought that the capitalist voice didn't know where he was.

Stupid Russian child, then heard the capitalist voice once more. Only now it was closer than before.

"Where is my potato you commie scum?!" it groaned.

The boy pulled the blankets over his head and closed his eyes.

"I'll go to sleep," he thought. "When I wake up it will be gone."

But soon he heard the back door open, and again he heard the voice of the capitalist scum pig.

"Where is my potato? You evil communist bastard!" it groaned.

Then the incompetent Russian boy heard footsteps move through the kitchen into the dining room, into the living room, into the front hall. Then slowly they climbed the stairs. Closer and closer they came. Soon they were in the upstairs hall. Now they were outside his door.

"Open up, dirty peasant! Give me what's mine or suffer for your crime against the USA!" the voice groaned.

His door opened. Shaking with fear, dumbass Russian child listened as the footsteps slowly moved through the dark toward his bed. Then they stopped.

"Where is my potato?" it groaned.

Dumb peasant Russian boy sat up fast and saw a gun muzzle pressed to his face.

"YOU'VE GOT IT!" it groaned.

Soon the KGB rush into very stupid Russian peasant child's room. They then shot the American capitalist scum pig. The KGB then blindfolded and bounded the arms of the Stupid peasant child and his very stupid family. The KGB then made the dirty peasant family "disappear". Due to picking and eating filthy capitalist American potato. This made Sovi Mother Russia very happy.

They also removed all evidence that there ever was a boy who owned an American potato. Stupid peasant family's house burned down completely by government order. Better house was built in its place instead to replace dumb peasant household. Horrible stupid peasant family was never heard from or seen again. Because they were killed by the KGB for the good of the party.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.