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It was my 21st day on the container ship and I still had no idea what to do. Today I had to pay for my "ticket".

I was broke... Two months ago I lost my house to a fire, and ended up on the streets. I had no one... All of my days were about overtime at work, and then begging on the corner of some mucky alley until dark just to make some extra money. I slept in my car and ate the cheapest canned food from the shop. I wanted to save my dollars so much that I'd rather skip meals and work on an empty stomach. I thought my life couldn't get any worse. Well, I was wrong...

After a while I realized that my performance at work degraded. I was tired all day, because I couldn't get any good sleep in the uncomfortable car seat. Even if I drank half a litre coffee, I still found myself dozed off at my desk. And my shitty diet and skipped meals didn't help much either...

Soon I got fired for my bad work and smelly clothes. My worst nightmare came true: I became unemployed.

I was devastated. The only way I could stay alive was begging. I hated it. I hated waking up early and staying up late for basically nothing. But I needed those extra dollars.

After two miserable months I decided to end this once and for all. I was tired of living on the streets, so I sold my old car, bought some new clothes and real food, and snuck on a big cargo ship hoping that I could find a container and hide until we reach the port.

For a while everything seemed to be working out. At nights, when the crew of the ship was sleeping, I snuck out for food and water. It usually lasted for a few days, then I went again. However last time when I was on my way back to my container, I ran into the captain, a tall, black bearded guy, who - as it turned out later - was extremely rude. He asked me what I was doing on the ship and I realized that I couldn't keep hiding anymore. So I told him everything. But for my biggest surprise he didn't show the smallest sign of shock. On the contrary, his expressionless face scared me. And in the next moment, he said something that only an asshole would:

"500."

"What?" - I asked, because I wasn't sure I got it right. Honestly I was hoping for it. But he repeated with a mean grin on his face.

"500 dollars."

I almost dropped my jaw.

"But what if I don't have that kind of money?" - that was practically a lie. I had around two thousand on me, but I needed every single cent of it in order to start a new life in a completely unknown island. I couldn't just give away a huge part of it to a jerk.

"A ticket on a ship like that doesn't even cost half of that price."

"But you've been a stowaway so far, haven't you?" - he replied and shrugged - "500 or you jump."

I swallowed and looked at the infinite ocean surrounding us.

"You mean..."

"Yeah I mean there." - he grinned maniacally. - "I'll give you a week. If it passes and I don't get my money, the decision has been made. So be a man and don't let me down!"

He just walked away, and didn't ask if I understood. In fact he didn't have to. I almost ended up in tears.

In the next few days I could hardly sleep. All I could think about was the deal. It was either the money or me. I was desperate.

On the day of the pay-off I was still puzzled. I felt hopeless. I thought this sea journey would be a great start to my new life, yet it had been going so terribly.

I met the captain in the same place, on the edge of the deck. The only thing that separated us from the rippling water was the railing that encompassed the whole ship.

"Well, let's see how you decided" - he said smiling viciously, but I just stood there, looking at the ground without a word.

"Okay, then looks like someone's gonna jump today" - he almost called the rest of the crew with his whistle, when I interrupted him.

"Wait, no! I have your money!"

"Where is it then?" - he asked with suspicion in his voice. He even leaned forward a bit.

And that was my sign. I had to do it. I had so much adrenaline circling in me, that I didn't even think before my actions. I punched him in the face with all the power I had, and I was preparing to push him off the deck. But that didn't happen, because no matter how strong that man was, he definitely wasn't counting on something like that. And neither was I. I've never hit anyone before. I always avoided fights. But not this time! I watched the captain of the ship fall into the frothy waves. He didn't even scream, he knew no one would hear his cry beside the ship's loud engine.

After a few minutes my mind started to clear. And that was the moment, when I realized...

"Oh, God" - I whispered as I was staring where the captain disappeared in the ocean - "What did I do..."

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