I am Bexley chap 25 “Heavy”

We had a moment. She asked me about true love.

“So? Spill. I need to know. How did you know?” Emma says to me. It’s a moment of quiet after the storm. All of us have been in a heated debate of whether we should go home to heal Asher or go to talk to some of the higher members of the zombie elite. So far, there hasn’t been any sort of conclusion to everyone’s bickering. Stan and I don’t agree. He is my husband—-it saddens me that we’re not on the same page. He wanted to go home. I wanted to talk to the elite to get negotiations started. It’s not that I didn’t think going home to Asher wasn’t important—-it was. I just felt this heavy weight cross over me thinking about all the poor souls and undead needing help and better shelter, equal rights and a better life/unlife.

Emma continues as I solemnly look at her, “I mean, I know how I knew. Safety. Trust. She had no reason to trust me. India was tormented and tortured by her handler all her life. Treated like garbage. She trusted me first. I gave her that space. Then, she gave me something I thought I lost. Like a family. All my family is either dead or out in Chicago or somewhere I can’t even imagine. Cara, my sister, is the only one still alive. I hope anyway.” Emma sighs and taps my nose, “You still in there, Bex? You know I have a tendency to ramble about anything and everything. I sometimes forget to breathe because I talk myself into a frenzy!”

I nod. I sign hesitantly, “I knew Stan was the one when I felt like he would come back for me.”

Emma nods curiously. “Ok, ok. Explain!”

“Being undead is a gamble between the gray parts that make up life and death. You can get a whole arm sawed off, you won’t bleed out. You can get an eyeball popped out, oh well. You keep going. Your head is not on tight enough, you gurgle and swerve past the zombie hoarde. I only knew a few zombie boys my age. They left me. They never came back. One I knew, he never had a name except, Gar, because that’s all he ever said. He liked to take my hand. Like he liked me. And touch my hair. I kind of liked him too.”

I paused as my hands were becoming stiff. Emma leaned on a tree trunk, stretching.

“Was he cute?” She asks.

I nod. “A little,” I signed. “But one day, my hair got snagged on a train sign and I fell on the tracks. A crazy zombie that lived on the train that flew by at random times, he decided to drive at that time.”

Emma gasps, “Shit! Girl, what he do? Did he get help? Oh hell naw…if someone left me like that I’d go back and smack the fat off his lip…”

I giggle. “He left me. Never saw him again. The train cut my side open and I had to have my mom sew me up. I got a scar. Didn’t hurt. Didn’t bleed. Just, it hurt because he never came back.”

“That’s heavy, girl,” Emma says. “Bullshit is what it is too. What an asshole!”

I sign enthusiastically, “Yes, heavy! It felt heavy. Just like I do now. I don’t know what we need to do. I don’t want to split up our group, we’ve come across too many dangers lately.”

Emma sighs loudly, “It feels like bad luck is looming over us. I feel like last time we didn’t have this much trouble, a few ‘Letters and shit, but that’s not like now. Bex, do zombies usually get into groups like that to hunt Bloodletters and humans?”

I shake my head. “No. Never. This is unheard of. I feel like I heard a rumor that ‘Letters were taking up other zombie apartments and houses. Like just going in there and taking them over. Maybe some zombies had enough?” I sign with a quiet hesitation. I don’t want to push a false narrative either especially since there isn’t proof.

Emma plays with her curls, “Maybe. Who knows? It could be. Could be not. I think at this point we probably should cut our losses and be grateful we’re all together in technically one piece.”

I nod. “I personally have never understood our system. I know that whoever has the most gold and gems are the ones who make the rules. They get the most protection. They get to buy off favors and protection and security,” I sign.

“Girl if you don’t understand it, then I really don’t!” She laughs, playfully pushing me. I push her back and growl, lunging at her as if to bite.

She slaps my hand jokingly, “I ain’t ready to be undead. Don’t go messing with my duds man, I just did them earlier with India!” She is laughing and her brown eyes look at me with a soft sweetness as we play wrestle.

Everyone is giving us a look and we stop.

Emma is whistling, still laughing, “I never thought I’d be friends with a zombie. But here I am. And partners with a Bloodletter. My life has gone nuts but I really love it.”

I nod, “I never thought of liking humans! Especially ones that talked too much!”

“Hey! That’s too far!” She pushes me again and I giggle.

We settle down as Stan signs at me to come over. I sign quickly that I’ll be there in one minute.

Emma frowns, “Your hubby mad?”

I sign so only she can see, “He wants to go home. I don’t know if I want to yet.”

“He’s like home to you, right? And he always comes back. That’s why you said he was the one for you, right?” Emma says.

“Well,” I think back to that first day we met. “We met by water. A pond. I think. He was picking flowers. He gave one to me. I almost fell in, he grabbed me. He stopped me from going in. He suddenly had to leave, but told me he’d be back for me. His gorgeous, big brown eyes told me he was telling the truth. The next day, he came back. He said, he wanted to make sure I was ok,” I signed, the heavy feeling of before melting away.

“Go to that slick trick, Bex, girl. I get it!” She hit her hip with mine and I giggle again.

I get up and go over to my husband. He’s the one for me, that’s all I know. I land in his arms and he kisses my forehead as I know the heaviness is gone whenever I am in his arms.