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262 — Fool Me Once...

For Wendesday, September 18, Day 262 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished about a year ago 2 min read
"Everyone looks the same. Am I stoned?"

"Bit of a problem," the Acquisition Archangel reported to the Chief Salvation Officer.

"What might that be?" the CSO asked the Acq'Angel.

"It seems that someone deceased has arrived here in a way I've never encountered before."

"How's that, Acq'Angel?"

"Well, sir, it seems a Ms. Anathema Didymus has come to us with two souls."

"What a name... 'Anathema.' For real?"

"Both the name and her duality, yes, for real," the Acq'Angel reported.

"This has never happened before?"

"That is correct, sir."

The CSO opened a large tome and paged through hundreds of pages that were just its table of contents.

"Let's see," he murmured. "Monotheism, Trinity, Four Gospels, the Pentateuch, 666, Seven—maybe because it rhymes, um, no references to two or twins or anything."

"Thomas was a twin," the Acq'Angel pointed out.

"That's true, but he and his twin, whoever that was..."

"Yea, tell me about it..."

"...each had one soul," the CSO continued. "Now, there must be something in here that we can use to address this most peculiar presentation..."

"Isn't there something like "here-and-after?"

"This is here. And it is after. No, nice try."

"What about alpha and omega?"

"No, that just means all the important stuff in between. Tell you what, let's just call her in. Get her side of the story," suggested the CSO.

"Good call," agreed the Acq'Angel.

A middle-aged pair of women, identical in every respect, were presented.

"May I present the Anathemata—Ms. and Ms. Didymus!" announced Seraphim Interim, the Segue of First-to-Everlasts.

"Thank you, Seque," said the CSO. The Segue abruptly spun around and departed the chamber to re-attend his Firsts and Everlasts who awaited.

"Which of you would like to speak first?" the CSO asked.

One Anathema began. "Sir, our soul was cleaved at conception."

"But how?" asked the Acq'Angel.

"My mother was a spiritual over-achiever."

"And," continued the other Anathema, "I guess she just had Faith to spare."

"Oh, c'mon," scoffed the Acq'Angel. "You expect us to buy that?"

"Oy, am Yisrael chai!" exclaimed the Jewish Anathema. "We're not the only ones from a mixed marriage!"

"Mother of Mary, yes!" blurted the Christian Anathema. "Theres a couple o'guys named Akbar and Hubbard waiting right behind us."

__________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Wednesday, September 18, Day 262 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Accompaniment photo as AI derived, but the Faith to spare was not.

_____________

THIS CHALLENGE MARCHES ON, 366 SUPPLICATIONS AT A TIME.

There are currently three surviving, faithful, here-now/there-after, beseeching Vocal penitants still keeping reciting in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer (Jehovah's Witness Protection Program)

• Rachel Deeming (The day after the Seventh Day Adventists)

• Gerard DiLeo (Consciencetology)

Satire

About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!

Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo

[email protected]

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Comments (5)

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  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    Duplicate souls...and humor laden magical words. Well done.

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Akbar and Hubbard? lol. This is great.

  • Dana Crandellabout a year ago

    Another great stretch of your marvelous imagination. Well done, Gerard!

  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    Always so clever and funny! Sorted tea through my nose at the witness protection program 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    Where do your ideas come from? Souls cleaved at birth? Amazing!

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