Siblings; The insight

Siblings; The impact they have.

I have spent my whole life not part of a match set but as a set of three. My mother birthed three girls each five years apart and each varying in personality, Beauty and beliefs- And sometimes the differences were so obnoxiously apparent, You could find the cross over between, The things that made you look at us and you’d know we were sisters.

So often you see people portray siblings on television and so very often do they fail to correctly represent siblings in their complexity.

An interesting thought is how siblings aren’t always your blood. They don’t have to share a name or DNA, Often times your sibling is someone you grew up with- Someone you learned to call your brother or your sister.

The youngest of three in DNA terms, The youngest of four in my eyes. The sibling relationship is a complex one, A relationship that scientists and psychologists study constantly.

What is it that binds siblings on a molecular level? How can a sister hold a grudge for years and spit the worst insults imaginable, Only to turn around and chew someone out who barely toed the line between disrespect and snarky.

Many movies will exaggerate the instance and take you on journeys of siblings quite literally trying to hurt one another , Only to team up to safe each other- The term “I can say whatever I want about my sibling, You can’t” seems to ring true.

I spent the first half of my life under the wing of my big sisters, And often my sisters best friend, Who in my mind was already my big brother. We spent days binge watching the original incarnation of “Charmed” and I saw myself and my siblings in the characters, I watched as my Eldest sister took on responsibilities, And I resented my middle sister for being the peace keeper.

Naturally, I’ve always been a bit of a wild child, A bit of a trouble maker. I caused havoc when no one needed another thing rocking the boat, And yet they loved and took care of me without doubt or qualm.

For the better half of a decade, I was a permanent fixture in my big sisters back seat, And she took me on adventures, Small and large alike.

On the other hand my middle sister Eileen was only five years older than me and she turned our house into a magical and safe space.

Years spent playing in the house and running around outside were the gift that Eileen had given me. She taught me how to have a good imagination and I’m turn grateful to her for giving me my ability to create complex art in all its forms.

Parents usually choose to have more than one offspring in the hopes that their first child will forever have a partner in crime. Parents give the gift of a sibling, Even if the gift is unwanted the first or second time around.

The fear for siblings is something that hits each one at a different time, A question of “Who will die first?” and “What will I do when you’re gone?” Something that I wish I was able to shove down and ignore.

My whole family always makes a huge fuss over me discussing my demise, As if it isn’t something that happens to everyone. The circle of life, Although a beautiful thing is a cruel and vicious cycle, Sometimes the loss of losing someone you love is just too hard- Yet I pray I go first.

I may be the youngest, But I’m not sure I could survive losing either of my siblings. I know I go around and I call myself the tough sibling, I don’t think I’m strong enough to survive the loss of people who were so profound in my development. Who even now dance around in my brain like whisps in a forest.

Knowing me, The one who clings to life- I won’t be the first to go, And if that is that last gift I give my family, I’ll be glad that I didn’t put them through losing me. They’re the big sisters, The ones who had to tailor their lives to me- Little did they know, They are the ones who made everything worth it.

To my brother, Who I’ve always counted as part of my family, You’ve helped me in more ways than you know, Through grief, Math, Cuts and bruises and everything in between.

I won’t ever forget that parents are a huge part of a child’s critical development, But I don’t want anyone to overlook, That sometimes it's the siblings who make a big impact as well.