Almost a Catfish

His big smile lit up everything around him. From the moment I saw him I knew he was the one for me. His dark Eastern European good looks and sexy accent, coupled with his confidence won me instantly. The only problem was, he wasn’t the guy in the picture that I was chatting with online. Not the guy I had arranged to meet that night. Fortunately, he was better looking than his fake profile picture! As we sat and ordered dinner, he chatted about everything from politics to growing up in Romania. I didn’t hear a lot of what he had to say that night, I was lost in those beautiful deep brown eyes of his.

At the end of the meal, I decided to head home. I was not expecting to have such an immediate connection with someone so quickly. I had only just come out of a ten-year relationship with an abusive partner, and I had lost myself completely. I was robotic, scared to speak up for myself and not ready for any kind of commitment to anyone. What I really craved was attention and company. Someone to listen to me.

As I turned to go, he pulled me close for a kiss goodbye. It was the most amazing and passionate kiss of my life. The world around me disappeared and I was lost in his masculinity, his strength and somehow felt I would be safe and protected with him.

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. I had been chatting online for most of that week with two men on a dating site. One was an attractive Middle Eastern guy called Rif, and the other was an attractive Eastern European guy called Alex. I couldn’t decide which one to meet that night as they both had offered dinner, and both seemed nice.

The day of my dinner date, I still feeling hesitant, I couldn’t decide which one to go on a date with. I asked my Oma to send me a sign of which direction to go. She passed a few years ago and quite often I would seek her guidance, ask her to show me a sign. As I cracked my eggs in the pan for breakfast, the yolks broke into the shape of a heart. I laughed out loud, looking to the heavens. Nobody would believe me if I told them! I had a busy day ahead doing hair, and I was not looking for love. So, I put it out of my mind and got on with work.

As I put the rollers in the hair of my last home client of the day, a visitor arrived. Living in a retirement village, it was normal for people to visit Betty for a chat while I was doing her hair. June decided to stop by and bring Betty the paper. I had not met June before; she had a brand new, cute little Jack Russell puppy with her... named Alex. I couldn’t believe it. Looking to the sky I thanked my Oma once again for her guidance. Oma approved. I didn’t know what the future held for me, but I was quietly happy and relieved to feel that everything would be ok.

So, after dinner, and the best kiss of all time, Alex invited me for coffee at his place. I drove myself there and following him I thought to myself I must be mad to follow this stranger home, all the while hoping he wasn’t an axe murderer. I text my sister to let her know where I would be. Just in case. I didn’t need to worry, he was a perfect gentleman, we chatted for hours about life and the universe. Around midnight, I decided to head home as I had a very long day.

I set the ground rules for myself from day one, I was determined to be myself and maintain my independence. I didn’t call him, I didn’t text him, I wanted someone to chase me and want me for who I was. If he was serious and felt the same, he would call. He called the next day to ask if I would like to meet with him again the following weekend.

Four years later we are still together, and it was the best decision of my life to meet Alex for dinner that night. He turned out to be the most supportive and loving partner and absolutely my other half. It took a while for me to lower my walls and accept that I could have the freedom in a relationship to be myself. Learning who I was again after ten years in an oppressive relationship, while falling in love with someone new took time. Finally at forty years of age I was finally able to answer the big question, who am I really? I’m a woman, I’m a mum, a worthy partner, a sister, and a daughter.

Our two sons have a great relationship with both of us, and with each other, and I consider myself amazingly lucky to have found this man. I’m happy I didn’t settle for less than I deserve, and I am happy I finally grew up and had the self-respect to set my own rules. I now have a voice, and I am even enrolled in university, on my way to becoming a doctor!