The Last Letter

Teigen sat cross-legged on her bed, her laptop open in front of her, but the words on the screen blurred together. The city lights flickered through her window, the distant sounds of honking cars and sirens a familiar soundtrack to her nights. It reminded her of the nights she spent at Christopher’s place—their sleepless conversations, the quiet moments when they simply listened to the world outside, cocooned in their own little bubble. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, her chest tightening with the weight of memories.

Her fingers hesitated over the keyboard, but instead of typing, she reached for her phone. She opened their old messages, scrolling through them with a mix of longing and regret. The playful banter, the inside jokes, the comforting words exchanged after long days—it all felt so recent yet so distant at the same time. She had told herself she wouldn’t do this anymore, wouldn’t linger in the past. But tonight, she felt weak, the loneliness creeping in like an old familiar ache.

She wanted to talk to him. To hear his voice. To close the gap between them, even if just for a moment. Her heart clenched as she pulled up his contact, her thumb hovering over the call button. But what would she even say?

"Hey, Chris… I miss you. I miss us."

No, that wasn’t enough. That wasn’t even scratching the surface.

She set the phone down and reached for the journal on her nightstand. If she couldn’t say it, maybe she could write it.

Chris,

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know if I should even be writing this, but there’s so much I never said, and it’s eating away at me. I miss you. I know that’s not enough, not after everything. But I do. I miss the way we just fit, the way you always knew what to say when I had a bad day, the way we could sit in silence and still feel like we were saying everything. I miss the stupid little things, like the way you always ordered for me at restaurants even though I’d already made up my mind. The way you’d roll your eyes when I stole your hoodie, but you’d always let me keep it. The way you’d run your fingers through my hair when I was falling asleep, like it was second nature.

I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go. You said you couldn’t commit, and I told myself I deserved more. Maybe I do. But the truth is, Chris, I didn’t just lose a boyfriend. I lost my best friend. And that part? That’s been the hardest.

Her hand trembled as she set the pen down. The emotions she had kept bottled up for months came rushing in, flooding her all at once.

She wiped a tear from her cheek, staring at the unfinished letter. Would he even care? Would he read it and feel the same ache she did, or would he brush it off as a moment of weakness?

Teigen sighed, closing the journal and resting her head against the pillows. The memories wouldn’t let her go, and tonight, she wasn’t strong enough to fight them.